One Man, Two Guvnors

written by Richard Bean

based on The Servant of Two Masters by Carlo Goldoni

with songs by Grant Olding


Audition dates are Monday 12th and Tuesday 13th February @ 7.30pm

at the Lamproom Theatre



Fired from his skiffle band, Francis Henshall becomes minder to Roscoe Crabbe, a small time East End hood, now in Brighton to collect £6,000 from the dad of his fiancee. But Roscoe is really his sister Rachel posing as her own dead brother, who has been killed by her boyfriend Stanley Stubbers.


Holed up at The Cricketers Arms, the permanently ravenous Francis spots the chance of an extra meal ticket and takes a second job with one Stanley Stubbers, who is hiding from the police and waiting to be reunited with Rachel. To prevent discovery, Francis must keep his two guvnors apart. Simple.


Based on the classic Italian comedy The Servant of Two Masters by Carlo Goldoni, in this new English version by prizewinning playwright Richard Bean, with songs and music by Grant Olding, sex, food and money are high on the agenda.


 10th April to 14th April

The play requires a cast of 9

6 male  and 3 female plus  2 male and 2 female extras

Audition pieces are available by email at

Simply request by character name or names


GENERAL CHARACTER NOTES: It seems like almost none of the characters in this play would win a Good Citizen Award any time soon. Rachel and Francis are both guilty of fraud. Stanley is guilty of homicide— though he claims it was self-defense. Charlie is a gangster and Dangle is his lawyer who keeps depraved characters out of prison. The women are immersed in the petty crime/thug world and almost all the other characters take it all in stride. But the crooked characters always seem more interesting!  In dramas, this theme would provide for some powerful character development, but in comedies if often sets the scene for silliness right off the bat.


CHARLIE "The Duck" CLENCH: a retired gangster. Age range: Somewhere in his fifties. Physique: Can take care of himself in a fight. Character: Faint menace behind shark-like grin. Think Alfie Doolittle from My Fair Lady, but sober and with more small time criminal characteristics. [Audition Piece: Page 1 “I’ve only ever spoken three times…” to Page 2 “Over to you Alan”].


PAULINE: Clench's daughter. Age range: Twenties/Thirties. Physique: Pretty, eyes wide with wonder. Character: Dim-witted, “the dumbest of blondes.” But, not necessarily a blonde! [Audition Piece: Page 32 “Piss off. I hate you…” to Page 33 “…grieving for him”].


ALAN DANGLE: A wannabe actor and Pauline's fiancé. Age range: Twenties/Thirties. Physique: Fancies himself a “star material type.” Character: An aspiring actor – dramatic gestures and accentuated dialogue. He is sappy about love and uses large bravado with his anger. [Audition Piece: Page 56 “Is it true?...” to Page 58 “Hardware and Kitchens”].


HARRY DANGLE: Alan's father. Age range: Somewhere in his fifties/sixties. Physique: Written as heavy set. Character: Clench's crooked solicitor- dapper and faintly sleazy. He pompously uses his “educated class” demeanor and his weapons are: the law, contracts, and big words. Often uses Latin to impress. [Audition Piece: Page 55 “Orlando?! What are you doing here?...” to Page 56 “…fetid pond that is your family”].


STANLEY STUBBERS: An upper-class criminal and Rachel's lover. Age range: Thirty-something. Physique: Athletically built type. Character: Roscoe's murderer. Strides about with confidence. Public school, lounge lizard type. [Audition Piece: Page 36 “Henshall!...” to “Page 37 “I’ll slip out the back”].


RACHEL CRABBE: Roscoe's identical twin sister. Age range: Twenties/Early Thirties. Physique: Pretending to be a man (her brother). Character: Energetic and confident. Gruff snarls pretending to be manly. [Audition Piece: Page 9 “Long time no see Charlie…” to Page 11 “As long as she is discrete”].


FRANCIS HENSHALL: A scheming assistant. Age Range: Thirty-something. Physique: “cheeky and chubby.” Character: Accidentally employed by two masters. Always hungry. Puppy, clumsy innocence with an infectious grin. At times he pretends to be tough, but we know the truth. Capable of pratfalls and slapstick. [Audition Piece: Page 15 – Monologue].


LLOYD BOATENG: Charlie’s friend- an ex-con turned pub owner. Age range: Forties/Fifties. Physique: Written as Jamaican with a shaved head. Character: Cheery smile. He is also the pub’s chef. Note: Written for a black Actor, but has been played as other ethnic or racial types. [Audition Piece: Page 13 “Rachel?...” to end of scene].


DOLLY: Charlie's secretary. Age range: Twenties/ Thirties. Physique: Voluptuous. Written with beehive hair. Character: Flirtatious with a scarlet lipsticky grin over her shoulder. Bossy. Wiggles on heels. [Audition Piece: Page 60 “He’s not worth it love…” to Page 61 “…end to foreign wars”].


GARETH: Head waiter at The Cricketers’ Arms. Age range: Forties. Physique: “Efficient and streamlined.” Character: Oversees operations with a flick of the wrist and a lifted eyebrow. [Audition Piece: Page 38 “My name’s Gareth…” to Page 39 “…I’ll get some wine lists”].


ALFIE: Waiter. Age range: Ancient Physique: Hard of hearing and nearly blind. Character: “Cadaverous” - shuffles along, back bowed and bewildered. Note: Lots of physical comedy and pratfalls – the actor playing this part must actually be nimble and agile. [Audition Piece: Page 36 – use Francis’ speech to show character].


ENSEMBLE: party guests, extra porters/waiters, passer-by, a vicar, police officers…





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